late night snack?

its midnight and im starving

i DONT want more lemonade and all i want

to do is chew gum

waaaah.

i keep stalking these pictures and looking

at photos from when i was thinner and pictures

of these skinny b_tches lol but omg. i cant even have gum

im seriously abotu to go chew on some ice.

p/s

i did the salat water flush aka the

(drum rolllll......)

SWF

its suggested to help cleanse buuuut

i couldnt even do the full thing they want to to

 CHUG TWO QUARTS OF SALT WATER. omg,no.

so i id half partially puked then drank a laxitive tea...

this should be interesting.

wet whipes?..check! ;)

.

.

.

ew

in & external..?

i was just thinking and watching more videos and I'm really hoping that this becomes something that is internal also, bc my attitude has been horrrrrrible lately.. =/ so stressed with home and $$$ and well.. life... we shall seee.

p/s

last night i had amazing dreams

I'm hoping it was a foreshadow

*fingers crossed*

current cravings. ahhh.

grilled cheese

yesterdog

&

tacos.

oh em gee.

lemonade it is..glup gulp gulp

oh btw..

my heading name is totally stupid i didn't realize i couldn't change it. ew.

day one! .. give me candy give me vodka!

so day one on this thing has been okay =|

this juice is discusting. lol
but it will be worth it i researched this thing 1000&1 times
and im so sold..

i chose this diet bc i need something that is strict.
and this def is.

its 7:17 pm and i haven't eatin a single thing all day... (weird)

but i feel good. i cant wait to weigh myself in a few days..

only temptation so far is candy & vodka =x lol

horrible i know, but last night i took photos of myself.. and i about cried.
i saved them to my phone to glare at every time im tempted to eat..

ick.

so i think im going to try the SWF but im scared bc everyone seems to hate it and think its disgusting.. but we shall see im going to YouTube a little more about this..


hey check out abigals results from 40 days of the master cleanse look at her before and after .. nuts... the definition in her face alone is crazy... im thinkings abotu doing a video blog also.. we shall see...

before http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HwkLfwNECE&feature=player_profilepage

and her after
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HwkLfwNECE&feature=player_profilepage

the intro...

so here i sit drinking my last can of coke. today i had Jimmy johns for lunch a #11 + bacon.. i have now considered it my "Last Supper"  =p 

history of my previous dieting adventures;

atkins diet...

which i couldn't bare bc of the bad breath effect from the high protein..

and just trying to eat right and exercise..

to much temptation and laziness.

in 34 days ill be on a plane to California to visit my best friend.

i want to go an dbeable to feel confident i dont mind standing out but i dont want the reason im standing out is bc i weigh 100lbs more then everyone i have beautiful eyes and a beautiful soul and i am starting to feel like they get over looked bc of my size.. and not just over looked by others but myself i dont look in the mirror and see my green eyes i see the pudgy face there on ...

so this is def to do with confidence.

i don twant to not ear a tank top bc my arms are huge.

or not wear a short dress bc of my jiggle.

feeling sexy in anything is something i used to adore about myself.

 like to blame my weight on having a child but my child is in preschool and about to turn 3 and i now weigh more then i did when i was pregnant with him so im done placing blame. i was lazy and ate far to much

first step is admitting right?

reasoning behind my hoosing the "Master Clense"

is bc of the fast results and then insturctions on how to wein your self off into normal eating habbits i dont want a fast acting diet thats going to work while im on it but then cause me to become back where i started once ive finsihed the corse

after a few hours of reading and youtube videos im confident that this will work and im determined to make sure i stick to it so that it can wrk for me also.

so im off to the store to stock up on the ingredients for the clense.. ill check in later tonight to update you on my first glass...